MAN FEEDS HYENA GENITALS AND TOES IN GET RICH QUICK SCHEME, BLAMES WITCHDOCTOR
(Zambia) Allegedly taking a local witchdoctor’s combination spiritual and financial advice, a Malawi man fed his genitals and toes to a local hyena because, “I met some business persons who told me the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body. Even if I have lost some important parts of my body, I still want to get rich,” Chamangeni Zulu explains. Reports indicate he accomplished the task by simply wandering into the wilderness and teasing a hyena until it ate him. Following several recent hyena attacks (this notably being the only consensual and motivated by profit) locals requested an intervention by the Zambia Wildlife Authority. Somewhat ironically (or not), both male and female hyenas have a penis; one speculates if this incidental biological quirk informed the half successful plan.